The handshake, like bows and kisses, is one type of non-verbal communication. Originally exclusively Western, the handshake is now highly internationalised. The Bhutanese have borrowed this form of gesture rather recently from the international usage. This short article by Pema Wangdi, Australian National University, attempts to compare and contrast the meanings and implications of a Bhutanese handshake vis-a-vis an Anglo handshake.

In Bhutanese culture, public body contact is very limited and yet handshaking has become so common in addition to our traditional greeting of chaglen, bowing with both the palms spread over knee, ankle and instep depending on the social and religious status of the addressee. Bhutanese have become accustomed to this western tradition and often shake hands to promote good relations in occasions such as introductions, departures, prize giving, while congratulating, encouraging and others.

The handshake was originally meant to demonstrate that neither party is armed. The offering of the open palm to the other party and the consequent contact of open palms, reached for, grasped and pressed indicate the assurance that the hand is unarmed and will remain so throughout the encounter. Bhutanese people generally take this form of gesture to be a sign of willingness to communicate and as a greeting for meeting and parting.

In both Bhutanese and Anglo cultures, the handshake is almost exclusively an adult gesture. In both, a handshake is done generally at the beginning and end of the encounter and does not occur unexpectedly or in the middle of the conversation. This indicates that the handshake is not spontaneous and is not prompted directly by a feeling. Instead, it is controlled and motivated by a communicative intent. So, one is at liberty to offer or refuse although the latter seldom happens in both the cultures.

Wierzbicka (1995:230) explicates the meaning of an Anglo handshake in the form of a simple formula as follows:

Anglo handshake

I want to say this to you now:
I feel something good towards you
I want you to know this
Because of this, I want to do THIS now
I think you want to do the same
I think you feel the same
I think you and I are the same
I would want to do things with you

Anglo handshake symbolises mutual trust and friendship. The component "I feel something good towards you" and "I think you feel the same" convey that there is mutual good feeling between the addresser and the addressee. Another important significance of a handshake in Anglo culture is that it shows equality between the participants, "I think you and I are the same".

A handshake, in Anglo context, is "democratic" because there is an assumption of "sameness" between the interlocutors. It has to be reciprocated by the superior however limply or briefly. Therefore, it is much more a sign of equality than a sign of respect. Because of this assumption of "sameness" or "equality", people shake hands with a single hand and more or less in the same posture (for example, both looking directly at the eye).

A proper Bhutanese handshake involves a slight bow and generally both hands are used as a mark of more respect for the other party. It is normally accompanied by a smile, a respectful posture, and a desirable proximity. This unique Bhutanese habit of using both hands and bowing slightly while shaking hands reflects the general cultural norm that Bhutanese people always regard the other person as someone more important then oneself and hold the other person in high esteem. Therefore, I have included the components "I can't think you and I are the same" and "I feel you are someone better than me" in the explication of a Bhutanese handshake.

The Bhutanese handshake, using the same meta-semantic language of Wierzbicka, can be explicated as follows:

Bhutanese handshake

I want to say this to you now:
I feel something good towards you
I want you to know this
Because of this, I want to do THIS now
I can't think you and I are the same
I think: you are someone more important than me
I do THIS because of this
I think you feel something good towards me now
I want to do it for a long time because of this
It is good if a man does THIS with other men

The underlying principle behind handshaking is more or less the same in that both Bhutanese and Anglo handshakes are motivated by a communicative intent as a result of some "good feeling" and that the addresser wants the addressee to know about it. But, in the Bhutanese handshake, although there is a general expectation of reciprocity, there is no assumption of "sameness" or "equality". This general feeling prompts a Bhutanese to offer both hands to shake hands and to bow slightly to indicate something like "I am inferior to you" and therefore, "I respect you more".

The Anglo behaviour is to shake with a single hand, then break clean and stand apart while the Bhutanese behaviour is to shake with both hands and with simultaneous slight bow, and prolong the handshake if the encounter becomes too friendly. The combination of slight bow with the handshake might cause little problem for an Anglo interlocutor who demands direct eye contact during the handshake because eye contact is often a western signal for confidence or sincerity. For a Bhutanese, direct and constant eye contact may be considered as a rude gesture and could be mistaken for something negative. This is why a Bhutanese either shifts his/her eyes or looks down (on the ground) to show respect for the other party.

In Bhutanese culture, people do not generally engage in public display of emotions, like kissing, between two sexes. Due to this underlying cultural norm, handshaking with a Bhutanese woman presents a special problem, as both kissing and handshaking are two different forms of non-verbal communication, involving direct physical contact. So handshaking with a Bhutanese woman may not be as comfortable as with her Anglo counterpart. Hence, the inclusion of the component "it is good if a man does this with other men" in the explication of Bhutanese handshake.

This is not to state that handshakes are restricted only to men and that women should never use them at all. Women should be allowed to offer their hands first and if they do not, men should not present their hands but can either nod or even a little smile is enough to substitute this gesture of greeting with Bhutanese women. Bhutanese women do not typically shake hands among themselves and do not even offer their hands when introduced to men. This is indicative of the underlying Bhutanese cultural norm that direct display of any emotions in public is not the part of everyday life like elsewhere.